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Parents: How do you change your mind about a dog?

Question by well then: Parents: How do you change your mind about a dog?

Ok so my husband has always had this idea that he’d like his kids to grow up with a dog. He’s always wanted to get a puppy while our kids were little and raise them together. I’ve never agreed because I simply don’t like dogs.

Our youngest daughter just turned 1 in June and my main excuse for not getting a dog was having it plow over the baby. Well she’s been walking very steady since she was 10 months and she’s now 14 months. His (almost) 5 year old has also been bugging me to say yes to a puppy. So yesterday, I FINALLY gave in and picked up a puppy that was EXACTLY what my husband had in mind. She was free so I figured what’s the harm?

I’m having second thoughts! Did I mention we’re 19?? We’ve been fighting to see his daughter since she was born. The mother cut him out of her life before the baby was born. I met him when the baby was 6 months old and have been helping him fight for her ever since. We’re already in debt with legal fees, but thankfully our attorney is a good friend of mine. We’re about to file for full custody because of all the unspeakable things the bio mom has done in the past 5 years.

On top of that (which is enough! Trust me! It’s hard being 19, married, and already in a custody battle!) I am still in college, I work 2 part time jobs, and my husband works a full time job with a lot of overtime. My classes start in September and I don’t think I am as able as I thought to take on the training of a puppy! I have enough “training” of my 1 year old! Our 5 year old is starting school next week and we want to be as involved in her Kindergarten as possible!

Would it be absolutely terrible of me to take the puppy back? The 1 year old won’t care. The 5 year old hasn’t seen her yet. The only one disappointed would be my husband, but I think he’d understand if I want what’s best for our kids and our future before I want to worry about a puppy.

Best answer:

Answer by Mom23
Normally, I would say you were horrible for taking the dog back.However, it is NOT FAIR to the puppy to be alone.Dogs need a family unit and plenty of attention, socialization etc. that is not something your family can provide.Keeping the pup confined in a crate all day would be cruel.

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  • Yes, take the poor puppy back. You don’t have the time or energy for a dog, much less a puppy. If you want to get a pet, get a fish or a cat.

  • i think if the 5-year-old has already seen or been told about the puppy, then yeah, it would be pretty harsh to bring it back.

    otherwise if your husband isn’t willing to be the one who does the training and so on, and you’re already put off by it on day 2, it is probably best for the dog in the long run if you find it a better home.

    not to be mean, but next time don’t impulse buy anything with a heartbeat.

  • What was terrible was making such a big decision with such little thought in the first place. Trust me, they won’t take kindly to you returning it, but you’ll be doing the dog a favor. With that sort of schedule, it would heartless to have a dog. Training can take 6 months, and they need exercise and freedom, which you won’t be able to give if you have to crate it all day while you’re away. Give it back, if they won’t take it, place it on craigslist. DO NOT try to charge for the dog, you have no right to make a dime.

  • I don’t think he’ll understand.
    I agree puppies are a lot of work. I didn’t want a dog, but my husband and kids did. I caved and let them have the dog. I am the one who feeds her and lets her out all the time, but hubby gives her baths and plays with her. (our yard is fenced so we don’t walk her, just play with her so she gets her exercise).
    If you really don’t want the dog you shouldn’t have brought it home. You knew how much time, money and energy you had before you got it. I think you are just making excuses because you really didn’t want it in the first place.
    Keep it and let your husband train it!

  • In re

    “Trust me, they won’t take kindly to you returning it”


    “Responsible breeders can not only help with problems, but will most always take back any animal of their breeding, any time, even years later. They truly care about the fates of all the animals they produce. It they themselves cannot take the animal in, they will often arrange for foster care until a good home can be found…

    …Do not worry about being judged by the breeder or rescue workers, they are often quite understanding.”

    However, that assumes you got the dog from a reasonable, responsible person. If not — you want to give the dog to a reasonable, responsible person, and it is unclear that a reasonable, responsible person would’ve given a dog, for free, to somebody so iffy on having a dog. If the original dog owner is not up to snuff, be good to the dog, and do the work required to find the puppy a better home.

  • If neither one of you can care for the dog, find someone who will. Do it before the kids are involved.

  • You’re never home. That’s not fair to the puppy. Dogs are social animals. If you are either at work or school, and so is your husband, you won’t have any time for the dog, and the dog will be lonely. I think, until your lives slow down, a dog is a bad idea for your family.

  • I’m pretty against people dumping pets, but in your case…it’s better for everyone that the puppy finds a more suitable home. And no more pets until everyone is in agreement (you don’t have to cave to hubby’s requests if you really don’t want one!)

    If you need tips to help you rehome the puppy…don’t hesitate to ask. I won’t type out a long list of helpful hints unless you need it.

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