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Relationship HELP !!! I know its long but PLEASE read. Im not understanding why his being like this !!!?

Question by Proud Mom: Relationship HELP !!! I know its long but PLEASE read. Im not understanding why his being like this !!!?

So, I have a 5 yo from a previous relationship. I bought a house in May 2009 and moved in with my boyfriend about 6months later. I had a roomate who was a good friend so he stayed in my house and is now renting it from me. H ewent from HIMSELF renting a room to custody of his kids and making it his own housem which took some effort. I can’t just kivk him out and make him move because he’s a great friend and I feel that would be wrong.

So., my relationship: I had booked a year ago for a 3 night stay in reno, nevada for Hot August Nights and gave him to my BF has his xmas present. This was planned a year ago. He then invited my cousins their kids to come. My cousin spent $ 4,000 getting his car ready to go with us. My BF cut our one and only vacation short by 2 days which really upset me. Anyhow, he got an invitation for a baby shower and had me cancel our saturday night room reservations so he can drive back 5 hours to go to this baby shower, CAUSE HE’S THE GODFATHER !! I felt like that wrong since he had already made a committment to me and my cousins as well.

I moved into his fully furnished house so notihng is mine which doesnt make me feel at home. I lived with him for about 1 year. He has 20 pictures of his WHOLE family in the living room but wont let me hang up pictures of my daughter, or my decorations, because he says he doesnt want the walls cluttered.

Then he got a 6wk old blkack lab puppy. And….I can’t even take it outside to go the bathroom, I cannot feed the dog, or let him out of his pen until my BF comes home. Plus he brought him home already named, I feel that is something a family does together. He told me he was going to take care of the dog because I’ve never “trained” a dog before and he’s going to train the dog to be well behaved. Sorry, but how hard can that be? I’ve had dogs before.I feel left out. My clothes are in 3 diffferent closets and my jeans are in the hall closet, dresses in the office because he wonr share the ONE master bedroom closet with me.

He never comproises with me, its his way or no way. He has ALOT of good traits and qualities that I see in him but I do not understand this controlling thing !!!

The other thing I’m about is that when my 5 yo wakes up, he REFUSES to let her come cuddle in the bed “because it’s not her bed”. H efeels she should only be in her bed. I feel he tales on too many rules for her and because he doesnt have children of his own, doesnt know what its like when your kids want to cuddle.

Sorry sooooooooo long but I just had to name a few things so I can get your ideas because he feels justified in what he’s doing.

Best answer:

Answer by Ty
You just need to leave him. Where you need to draw the line is where he tells you how to raise your child. You flat out need to tell him its your house and you feel like a guest there. Even better flat out leave. Nobody deserves to be treat that way and like their family photos are not important or your things should not be displayed. And even if you do not take my advice one day you will regret that you let him stand in the way of you treating your kid how you see fit. Shes 5 and all she sees is that mom lets whoever tell her what is what. You did a very hard thing getting a house as what I would assume was a single mother. My mother did the very same thing, got a great house that she loved and was so proud of then moved in with her boyfriend and everything changed. Long story short a year later he took a job out of state and told her she needed to move out so he could unload the house and she ended up in a 2 bedroom apartment till she could buy another house. Trust me hes no good.

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  • i think you should sit him down and try to work some of these problems out because it seems to me as though he has some possession issues. try to get him to understand that if you guys are going to be together then he has to stop isolating himself and start accepting the fact that he has a new family on his hands. it may not be easy at first but you have to make sure he pulls through or else your relationship we’ll start to feel neglected.

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